Having been a baba devotee for the past 18 years and the first place, where I would lay down all my problems and anxieties was at Baba feet. Life was not normal; I was going through lot of pain both mentally and was feeling physically exhausted day by day. None of my relationships were working, be it with my husband, son, parents or sister. I lived with self-doubt if everything about me was wrong. All day I lived with my husband constantly talking to me a manner which is beyond words and son totally not developing. There was a constant feeling that was haunting me about my own past that I am responsible for the entire situation.

A very close friend of mine suggested the route of having healing could be beneficial. Especially by than I carried a stigma, that I could not go through proper counselling route, as none at home will give me the support for going ahead. At that very point, I was going through every possible crisis both financial, emotional and was decease ridden with fears, as to what will come next.

More than anything my son was getting into a bad state. At home, I had a husband who would not allow me to say anything to our son. I believe he was so lost that; he held my sons’ hand in the same direction. Son would not study but just sleep, eat and play video games. I felt life out of control and started giving up. I had severe stress and behaved very negative towards everyone and everything. Gradually the God form Saibaba, that I pray was also not connecting to me. Felt like breaking marriage, breaking all ties.

In November 2018, finally went to Sai9 Healing center. Initially I was very skeptical, as I felt from experience that there are many people in the world, who will tell god’s name and take money, will give assurances that life will get better and still nothing happens. My mom got many pujas done; my life never changed. Also, always the thought of paying an hourly rate with no money in the bank was very hard. My first thoughts were healing will burn every suffering in 10 sessions and once my past karma is done, my life will be better. Each session I will be thinking only few more left to pay. There were also sessions, where I will plan before hand and want to cover all these topics and use my intelligence to think that it will finish soon if I cover all the areas. I go into session and the healer (Ravinder Bamber) will be talking all general topics. I am seeing time and money at that point.

It took me 3 months to first learn to sit in the healing session. The healer tried everything she could to first understand me and stop me from controlling the sessions. She felt that even before I undergo healing, I must first stop being manipulative and let it flow through rather than over exercising, planning of what the outcome is. She decided to first start life coaching with simultaneous healing happening during the session. Over period, I realized that if you think that healer will burn your karma and fix everything, then that is not the case. A Healer will take you out of the current path which you are yourself creating and put you on an ideal path, but walking will have to be done by you not the healer. A healer will educate you as to what divine will is and what human will can do. The process will energize your inner self to stand up and confront life instead of blaming others or god or past karma for it. If there is a process that can wash out all karma, then this world and era would have straight away run for it. This can only happen when you are ready for it and god is willing for it to happen.

Gradually I started to feel a shift within me. The shift was as, I was venting out my true self and my past experiences in the session, I noticed that they are gradually leaving my system. The experience that I underwent in this life was still sitting in my memory strong rock solid. Even if it was as a child, if I felt compromised, that was a foundation for my today. Every human experience that we undergo is so important, as what we put our self is what we are. What I felt as my system later, I realized that it was sub-conscious mind. It is powerful than what one can imagine. It is the very cause as to what you are manifesting in your mind. When you are thinking, when you are talking, it all feels normal but once you get aware of the power of sub-conscious mind, that is when you start being conscious of your inner self. I started to connect to the healing process and the power of what exactly it is doing to me. Life coaching has allowed me to introspect on my own self, not just what I present to others but showed the mirror of my inner self. Gradually over a year, I myself can see what I could have done better, where to let go. Healing enabled me to understand that no matter what you do, you cannot change the situation you are placed in, but it cleanses your sub-conscious mind and in turn give you power to handle the situation.

When healing happens to a member of family, it has an impact on the entire family in one way or the other. My husband was terribly ill for few months, during that phase there was not a second that I was broken at heart. If before healing I was placed in that situation, I would be sobbing, crying, counting on the miseries and fill myself with self-doubt. I was not up to mark with my thinking and had fears but gradually the situation was handled much in control due to the way I evolved over the period of healing. Don’t expect miracles to happen but keep walking. Being as humans I guess; we all want life to be give us everything easily but what we sow we have to reap.” ACCEPT IT “that is what healing is about. It engrains that message into you and endorses that instead of conquering others, conquer your own self.

Today there are many changes in my life, I keep focus on silencing my mind. I understand the power within rather than seeking externally. Still lot to improve, lot to evolve but it is a journey that just started. Today I no longer think of running away from pain but face it with courage. Husband health improved and son is doing much better and I can make effort to keep persuading the level of acceptance. I suffered from many diseases such as anger, hatred, vengeance, fear, jealousy, self -doubt, but today I am more aware than ever of every thought that passes through my mind and have the power raise my awareness to raise over and above that thought. Still have my moments where I make few make wrong judgements and false calls but at least, I accept that the world is not perfect.